Saturday, November 17, 2007

Games, Dames, and Lames: Does a Tie come with that T-Shirt?

Allow me to enter into my virtual confession booth. I apologize if my words offend some of those in my field, but I have to get these thoughts off my chest. Umm Hmm. I’m going to talk about art and money. Yeah, I’m the kid with the motto, “In a world of CREAM, I’m FLOM’d out.” Don’t run to Urban Dictionary for an explanation of what was just stated because the suburban kiddies that write dictionary entries have no idea on how to properly define FLOM. I will define CREAM before defining FLOM. CREAM is cash rules everything around me. That is the backbone of our nation. You can receive all your inalienable rights and earn a few extra if your dough is longer than Pilsbury or Betty Crocker. FLOM means for love of money.

In one of our classes, we opened up a can of snakes by debating which is better creating niche games or mainstream games. The class was totally split on the issue of why highly successful, large publishers won’t publish more niche ‘arthouse’ games? My question is why would they publish more niche ‘arthouse’ games? Another Charles Babb saying is that all businesses are in the same business no matter what industry. That business is making money. It actually bothers me that people believe that businesses are always working in the interests of elevating the consumer. Should businesses produce products at the expense of their existence to increase the cultural intellect of society or satisfy the appetites of a niche audience? I would think not. The smallest mouse scares the biggest elephant. In business terms, the smallest flaw or mistake made by a successful big business can irreconcilably tarnish its image. So, successful video game publishers shy away from taking ‘unnecessary’ risks on producing video games designed for a specific niche with no possibility of breaking into the mainstream. Yes, there are niche games that find some legs and become runaway hits. Usually, publishers release ‘niche’ games that are low-risk and have high probability of being accepted by the mainstream, i.e. Guitar Hero. Sure Guitar Hero is made for a niche audience that loves rhythm games, but come on, who doesn’t want to be a guitarist? Better yet, who doesn’t want to be a guitar hero?

I know, I know niche and artsy games are not synonymous. There are games that are artsy such as Okami that play toward the mainstream. Yes, Okami is one the most artsy action adventure games of all-time. Even with critical acclaim, it did not penetrate homes like God of War. It is arguably a better game, but the art got in the way of the game. Your average action adventure game player did not know how Okami. Not all masterpieces fall short of reaching their audience. For example, Bioshock dominates the game scene. It is a first-person shooter that doesn’t introduce a new over-the-top saleable game mechanic. But, this game is graphically an uber masterpiece. It abandons the clichéd military, standard horror, space alien, and urban environments for a more industrial, dark, 1940’s deco gothic environment. The game’s artsy visuals paint a world that is eerie and frightening. The world of Rapture makes the gamer want to explore it, but more importantly want to escape it. Don’t get me wrong making wonderful art to raise the art intellect of the masses does not trump making money off the masses. Yes, I’m thinking like a suit.

Honestly, what businessperson wants to sacrifice time and money for an endeavor that has no tangible returns? Businesses measure success by profits like athletics measure success by championships. No one praises the team that played well together and never received a championship. When we do talk about such teams, we immortalize their stories as tragedies. The story usually starts with this line, “Do you remember the such-and-such team that played well together, but didn’t pull it together in the final hours?”However, we do praise the team that hates one another and plays in an unorthodox manner, but pulls off the unthinkable, nearly impossible clench of the championship. With that said, let me lunge into another example of “suits” versus “artists.”

My favorite television show, Entourage has an enraged movie director under the moniker of Billy Walsh. Billy is one of those arthouse geniuses that create so-called arthouse films that are mainstream accessible. He is what we call true genius in the entertainment industry. The Industry crowns people, who have the ability to maintain their creative integrity and slightly push the bar while making the masses easily relate to final product, as geniuses. What this scenario usually creates in the minds of our pious artist that is counterculture for counterculture sake think that artistic identity prevails over product understanding. They believe Billy is an artist that sticks to his guns and always comes out on top. They don’t realize that Billy sacrifices artistic identity while holding onto his artistic integrity to produce critically acclaimed work that would sell to the masses. For example, Billy created a film called “Queens Boulevard.,” which was a black and white film that maintained the authenticity of Queens, was colorized by an overzealous studio. The studio ruined the film’s emotion, which made the film authentic. “Queens Boulevard.” was colorized, thus distracting the viewer from the real focus of the movie. The studio thought it brightened a movie that was meant to be gritty and dark. Billy stuck by his creative integrity and not the artistic look of the movie and had the movie sanctioned. Billy mentions in the episode, “If the movie would have been better in color, then I would have made it in color. *Stupid* suits.” Your savvy artist would have understood the power of Billy’s statement. Billy chose to shoot the movie in black and white because it gave him a better chance to win the coveted Sundance Award. The general public could digest the film. Critics and judges could rave about how different it is to other films. On the other hand, the studio believed people like color, so they want to give people only color films. Billy would have been willing to compromise if it would have made the film better, but it didn’t. High-strung artist interpret Billy’s line as suits are vile people that are money grubbing and willing to destroy great art for the sake of profit. That is a slanted perspective of Billy Walsh’s statement and Billy. In the series, Billy loves money, he wants his art digested and he is willing to compromise for acceptance as long as it doesn’t destroy his artistic vision. Billy detests and opposes suits because they want to denounce his understanding of high concept art that is easy to relate to by the general public and dumb it down based on their statistical marketing research that does not explore people's acceptance of art. See, Billy’s integrity is based on knowing how to produce high concept films that the general public will love.

Most pious artists believe the general public doesn’t understand their “great” art because they are dumb individuals waiting to be led like sheep. These artists never reflect on themselves. Most never realize that the reason the public doesn’t like your art is because it just sucks. Many artists believe the starving artist should martyr himself for the sake of art. I believe if an artist loves his craft, then he should create it in a manner that the general public can relate to the conveyed emotion. I’m not saying suits know what’s best, but good suits know business. And, business has one purpose and that is to make money. Artists believe suits don’t have an artistic bone in their body, but they do. Suits know the art of making money. Now, that is something everyone can relate to. Word to the wise: Artists learn how to sell your art to the masses. If you don’t some suit will. Now, where is my tie that matches my new hipster t-shirt?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

In the Midst of Real Tragedy (free flow of thought)

Peace Good People,

Peace Evil People,

This entry is really for everyone. I know that I was leaving myspace for good, but this needs to be said. I've been holding this entry captive in my heart for a long time. I think it is ready to be freed. I know that most of my blogs are a mixture of philosophy, science, theory, memories, and aspirations. Well, this one will be no different. As I sit in my quad at FIEA (www.fiea.ucf.edu), I complain about the amount of work slammed down on us from our professors. I'm held hostage by Rapid Prototypes, Production Papers, Programming Pop Quizzes, 3D Artistic Endeavors, Life Art, and Underground Live Development. My life is jam-packed like early 80s fashion. I love every minute of it, too. Now, I overstand how a woman or man loves their abusive significant other. I'm in heaven by surviving video game development hell. Yes, I'm getting my arse handed to me on a daily basis. But, I love the abuse. Even in my complaints, I'm happy. I'm doing good work. I'm busting my arse. I'm being the best damn producer possible. It my work is reflective of great effort and product. But, school lets me know that it isn't enough to be the best. She keeps telling me to be better. School is the perfect girlfriend pushing me to the limits and beyond. She is making me a better boyfriend. I love her for it. After her, I'll be a better man. Yes, most relationships are based around grooming. It just so happens that school is grooming me. However, as I wallow in my painful grooming, real tragedy is taking place around the world.

Tragedy seems to hover over the heads of my loved ones. This year, I've had friends lose their parents, significant others, grandparents, and children. To think, I have the audacity to complain about not making an "A!" How superficial and shallow have I become this year? Real tragedy is happening around me, yet I worry about school. How dare I complain about my lavish grad school life, while death lurks in the lives of my loved ones? How dare I spew words of dissatisfaction about people in my cohort when my family and friends are facing hardships- financially, socially, physically, mentally, and spiritually. While two-double-oh-seven is a good year for me, it has been an awful year for others. Well, I got into grad school to study a desired career wet dream. I'm surrounded by creative people. (Day 2 writing) Every day, I wake up ecstatic about my daily grind. I am also developing Underground Live with my PNC (partner-in-creativity), Bobby Craft. I'm learning what it really takes to be a successful producer by using my business prowess and creative juices in a single concerto. Moreover, I'm in grad school soaking up raw uncut game in a booming entertainment industry, video games. Both, Underground Live and FIEA, run hand and hand in learning business vernacular. Yet, I have the nerve to complain about not having enough time or energy to dedicate to both ventures. However, I have the time to write these words on paper. Isn't life crazy.

(Day 3 writing)

I have the ability to write in a world where the poor majority cannot read or write. Now, that is tragic! I can openly express my distress about my homeland and my life in a world where the poor majority cannot openly express themselves. Now, that's tragic! I woke up this morning to a nutritious breakfast. I allow food spoil in my refrigerator. Yet, the world's majority does not wake up to a breakfast and plush living. Tragedy surrounds me in micro and macro proportions, yet I complain about my plush lifestyle. For my complaints, I have committed the great sin of taking what I have for granted. I should know better because I grew up in a household that provided everything by the skin on their teeth. I didn't have much growing up, yet my parents made sure my brother and I had everything that a child and teenager needed and wanted. It was more than love. It was more than discipline. It was more than life lessons. It was more than sacrifice. My parents gave themselves to me and my brother. They committed to our growth more than their own growth. I received more from my family than ninety percent of the world's population receives from life. Beyond family life, I've experienced things that the world's majority have not or cannot dream. I'm always surrounded by beautiful people. I'm supported on all sides by the people in my life. As my time passes like Joe Montana, I'm able to receive more great experiences than Jerry Rice and score big on all my receptions. Yet, I complain while real tragedy plagues the world like a dark fog looming overhead. On that note, I apologize to you the reader, the have-nots, the appreciative haves, the gods and goddess, and most of all the ones that are suffering in tragedy. I'm sorry for not respecting your tragedy more than my pseudo-tragic life of luxury. Life has a way of humbling people. Life has humbled me in my good year by causing tragedy in the lives of my loved ones. For each of them, I shed a tear of sorrow. For their tragedy, this year has not been good to me.

Love and Peace Good People

Monday, September 17, 2007

Games, Lames, and Dames: Producers Be Cool

Last week, I began to reflect on my experience at FIEA. So, my original blog went out the door. For an entry more meaningful for future designers.

FIEA's Rapid Prototyping curriculum is very aggressive and fast-paced. If you blink, then you would have missed a pooh load of information. We actually gain knowledge about rapid prototyping through instruction, a plethora of resources, freedom to design anything, and a nonstop stream of prototyping opportunities. Feeling slight pressure to produce the best product, I learned sacrifice is a virtue worth developing and cultivating. My first sacrifice was sleep. I've never been to fond of sleep, so it was a simple decision to make. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

At 3:AM, I am up reading as much information as possible to strengthen my ability to obliterate production obstacles. As a producer, I need to be able to create an efficient system to design the best game possible within specified time parameters. Moreover, my first obligation is to make sure my team is completely satisfied and comfortable with the game idea. The only way to establish that comfort is to constantly ask for feedback about the idea and incorporate the ideas of the team into the game.

I've learned that open over-communication is necessary in making your team feel comfortable. I have to make sure that my programmer and artist are capable and able to deliver their pieces of the game design puzzle on time. I have to make sure that the artist understands the programmer's capabilities and the programmer understands the artist's capabilities. Then, I convince them to work in tandem on constructing the best game possible. Furthermore, I have to make sure neither the programmer nor the artist gets burned-out or broken in the game making process.

Many people think being a producer is a hack job. But, it is quite stressful when you realize that your team must be satisfied and comfortable. A producer must be concerned with the personal lives of his team because personal issues do spill into the workplace, and can adversely affect the team's morale. A producer has to create and maintain a stable working environment. In a nutshell, the producer's job overall is to make sure that the other team members do not worry about anything, except their task at hand. Any distractions or disruptions can halt momentum and destroy morale. Once morale is lost, then the battle to complete a game is uphill.

On our last rapid prototyping assignment, I watched some teams lose momentum and their morale plummet into chaos and desperation. Many of us, noob producers, are stuck in our ideas and never get around to actually designing the game until it is too late. A producer needs to be ten steps ahead of her or his team in order to be victorious in their game design. The worst situations snowball when a team loses momentum due to a producers inability to solve a problem in a timely manner. All producers should learn how to foresee any and all possible problems. In reality, I know it is impossible to foresee all possible problems that rise up in rapid prototyping, but a producer should be prepared for any problem- personal or professional. This ability to problem manage is called "cool." I've seen producers lose their "cool" with their team. It isn't a pretty sight. The team usually loses respect for him or her, thus causing the game to suffer. Believe me, that loss of confidence and loss of trust shows in the final product.

Note to all producers: Producers maintain your cool. It is not the job of the programmers and artists to worry about the overall design. That worry falls on you. I watched as producers get so caught up in their own tasks that they did not answer their team members' problems. Programmers and artists do not appreciate a self-absorbed producer. Your programmers and artists' gaming issues always outweigh your own, unless your issues have a negative effect on their work. A producer needs to show his team how much he cares about them before he or she unleashes unreasonable demands on them. Your teams efforts must be appreciated and respected. Producers are the coach and the cheerleaders for their teams. If you subscribe to keeping high morale and maintaining your cool, you will produce a good product.

As I step off my soapbox and face the calm before the storm, I wish all aspiring producers the best of luck in their productions endeavors. Remember, don't get hung up on your production hardships, we all feel your pain. Be cool and overcome.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Games, Dames, and Lames: Games and Dames

I know this blog is somewhat tardy. But, it is better late than never. I've been celebrating the completion of my first video game. Yes, I broke my video game production hymen, and look forward to continue to supply the world with great interactive entertainment. The first round opened us up to a world filled with interactivity. Some developers really pulled through on their creations. "I Herd Ya," an awesome game, felt like a great classic arcade game with smooth animation. It would be the equivalent of watching Billy Dee Williams sponsor Cristal. "Air Assault" left droppings on everyone's head with its cartoony animation and feel. Now, we are back to the grind for some round deux action. With the bar slightly raised, all the artists, programmers, and producers are diligently focused on making emergent games better than the next team and the previous cohort. You could hear a pin drop in FIEA's work zones due to all the intense silence and concentration. Occasionally, we hear an outburst of uncontrollable laughter and the whispers from team huddles. It is like every team is down by four points, 4th and goal with nine seconds left on the clock and no time outs. Everyone is working hard to succeed, especially the programmers. I do not envy their job. The programmers are here when I leave at the end of the day. They are here when I arrive in the morning. I leave pretty late, and arrive fairly early to school every day. So, I can only imagine their hours! They take the vision of us whacked out producers and make it a reality. Even the artists have the blues when they translate the producer's dreams into reality. It is funny watching things go crazy in the teams. Things go crazy when you mix an overzealous producer with no guidance skills with an overworked programmer and an anal retentive artist. Thank the heavens that I have great team players that don't suffer from these ills. Matter of fact, my development teams has been completely solid in communication, interpretation, and execution. Enough about "my" teams, you are reading this to find out the inside scoop on FIEA and the industry as a whole.

Well, in this edition of Games, Lames, and Dames, I really don't have much to report on. Yeah, I remember I am supposed to talk about dames this time around. The only good news on that is my apartment complex is filled with professional dancers. No, not the kind that stare into mirrors and slide down gold poles, but the kind that stares into mirrors and dance on their toes. Yes, it is filled with a Ballet Troupe. I discovered this at a pool party at my apartment complex last weekend. Now, nothing is better than Italian Ice mixed with tequila, rum, and vodka, two kegs of beer, free food, and a good reggae band. Yes, the Park Place is a sweet place to live. As I was talking with one of the ballet dancers (we shall call her "Ms. Ballerina"). Our conversation started with cordial introductions, then it slipped into the "what do you do" realm. I said, "Grad student." Then, Ms. Ballerina asked the only follow-up question possible. "What are you studying?" in a very interested and amused voice. With my chest poked out, I replied, "Video Game Production." She grinned and said, "I love video games. I own a Nintendo DS." What I have gathered from careful and thorough observation (past and present) is that more and more young ladies are appreciating the Dark Arts of Video Gaming. Not only that, gaming girls are hot! Yes, I said it. They are smoking hot. I know many young ladies that enjoy playing with my Wii. You know the Nintendo Wii. They own a DS, PS2, or Xbox 360. They play Halo, Madden, and Katamari Damacy. They play games like Okami and Grand Theft Auto. What makes them even hotter is that they talk junk as they beat you down in your favorite game. Let me pause for the cause--- I like to give a shout out to Aktrez and the Girls Gaming Network for gathering hot girls that love games just as much as I do! If you are a girl that loves video games, then join this network of like-minded beauties: http://www.myspace.com/girlgamingnetwork. Furthermore, girls that are into gaming are very approachable and usually have a higher IQ than Einstein. So, the conversations seem to be exciting, educational, entertaining, and endless. They are not the awkward girls portrayed in the movies. They are more like Rachael Leigh Cook, Meagan Good, and Jessica Alba than Calista Flockhart. Fellas stop being lames, get up off your tails and go find you a gaming dame. There goes my plug about dames.

Well, I'm off to make another flash game. Until next week, you will have to nibble on this until I write another tidbit of gaming knowledge.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Honesty, the lost art

As I write this to the rain falling on the moonlit fountain outside from my balcony, I wonder where did honesty go. It seems honesty has become a lost art in our greater culture. I watch as all the major institutions lie about the smallest and most minute issues. From the government to religion to education to community to family, I listen to the lies spewed from those that care the most about us.

I hear preachers lie to their congregation on how to receive salvation. I listen to politicians lie to us about equality, freedom, and our other so-called rights. I also listen to teachers lie to their pupils about their abilities to learn. I listen to our community lie to us about our history, heritage, and our purpose within. Finally, I listen to family lie to me about their devotion to my success.

It pains me to wonder how enlightened we all could be if it weren't for the lies that trap us from something greater. It hurts even more to know that the liar is the bearer of the truth. In order to tell a lie, you have to know the truth. Imagine a place when honesty was not a commitment, but a commandment handed down from the gods and goddesses. Life would be different. We would be sterner people. We would be more earnest. We would not have to preoccupy ourselves with deciphering fact from fiction. I'm not saying ban all fiction. Fiction allows us an escape from reality. It allows us to experience things beyond our scope. Heck, I've involved my self in four industries that monopolize on fiction-- music, television, film, and video games. These four industries have groomed me into the cordial and charming person that I am today. Working in these four industries, I have made it a principle to remain honest and fair. Not only that, I've made it a point to never hold my tongue. Honesty, lack of tongue control, and wearing my feelings on my shoulder are not a good combination. Because in a room full of liars, you are the target for their misdirection. Their goal is to make your life miserable because you are not like them.

However, if you have mastered the art of honesty. Lies will not bother you. You will develop a sense of deductive reasoning to uncover the lies buried in the souls of people's words. It is amazing what honesty can do. I wish our society would seize honesty and channel it in all facets of life.

Well, I'm going to stop rambling about honesty. Because even an honest man has room for improvement. I will be honest and promise you the reader another blog with more insightful information about my life or the lives that touch me.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Games, Lames, and Dames: Week 2

Okay. I'm here with my week in review. I could bore you with some flubber about how cool it is to be learning to design video games. But, you wouldn't be reading this if you didn't already know that! For reals, I'm here to spill my heart about my adventures in video game stardom. Yeah, I know you think I'm just playing Madden '08. Beating dumb freshmen and taking their financial aid refund checks. I wouldn't do anything like that?!?! Actually, I'm caught in an orgy of Rapid Prototyping the best damn Flash shooter game and making a sexy alien octopus while mind mapping a schizophrenic graffiti artist with an appetite for the ladies and government conspiracies. Yes, FIEA is the "pooh" like Winnie (I'm keeping it "E" for everyone and quite lame). It has only been two weeks, and we are in the thick of game design. Like any other code monkey operation, I've grown fond of my fellow FIEAns in all their uniqueness. Surviving in FIEA is like a sandbox video game. While not GTA, the profs are industry professionals that deliver some of the most difficult missions ever conceived. They are the Big Bosses that can crush your ego with one blow. So far, their industry antidotes are funny and insightful. I hope they keep the good stories flowing.

I can see FIEA producing monster video game developers to enter the real world. And, I can actually envision my cohort transforming into Mad Max meets Police Academy. I hope to experience a lot of both visions for your entertainment purposes. So, I have my game face on and ready to tackle all the obstacles in class and on computers and consoles. I will be shooting the "pooh" and reporting from the video game development frontlines like an opinionated schmuck with a blog. Oh, I am an opinionated schmuck. I won't bore you with the lore of why my life is better than yours, so I'll go back to playing Metroid Prime 3: Corruption while you wallow in your lame existence. So, I talked about the games and the lames. What am I missing, hmmm…. Oh, the dames! Maybe, I'll talk about the dames next week. Are you ready for the madness? Until next time, I wish you Love, Peace and Soul.....

Disclaimer: Fictional names are used to replace the real names, places and things of the crazy events revealed in front of your virgin eyes.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Games, Lames, and Dames: Week 1 in the Can.

Peace Good People,

I guess you all know by now that I moved from Los Angeles to Orlando, Florida (Home to Disney World, Universal Studios, Sea World, and other random theme parks). If you did not get the memo titled, "Charles Babb Moves Again!" What a shocking development (said in my most sarcastic tone). Yes, people, I'm in Orlando pursuing my Masters of Science degree in Interactive Digital Media with a Production concentration. In layman terms, I'm becoming a Video Game Producer.

Many of you are wondering why I'm placing my pursuit of movie and film production on haitus for the crazy world of video games. My most rooted reason isI've always played video games since my older brother bought a tape recorder for his Commodore Vic 20. I've loved games not only on Atari, but loved them on Tandy, Commodore 64, Coleco Vision, Sega Master System, Commodore Amiga, and Apple. Recently, I've been thinking...

Drumroll... I have a passion for video gaming and I definitely have a passion for producing entertainment, so it only makes sense to combine my two passions? Finally, the most intelligent reason, the video game industry made $12.5 billion last year ('06) [reference: http://www.gamespot.com/news/6164101.html]. Now, that is a third more peanuts than the movie industry. All I want is a few hundred million. Yes, I said it, I want to make a FEW hundred million.

No, it isn't impossible. Matter of fact it is quite possible. And, if you can't fathom making a hundred million dollars, then you will never make it. Better said, you don't deserve to make a hundred million dollars if you can't imagine making it. As a dream merchant, I'm in the business of selling dreams, thus making my profit earning is limitless. So, if you dream big, plan bigger, and execute the biggest, then you will reap your reward. In a capitalistic society, that reward is capital, which transforms into riches and matures into wealth. And, knowing that having an endless amount of capital in a capitalistic world will pave a path to happiness or madness, I'm willing to take my chances on becoming happy or going mad. My happiness would make everyone envious. My madness... Hell, I've already gone mad, so it doesn't matter. Okay. Okay. I'm done rambling about my move and my ambition to make a few hundred million dollars...

Now, I have a new description added to my moniker. I'm a FIEAn. I'm here to school you ladies, gentlemen, suckas, and swagger jackers on what a "FIEAn" is in this wondrous world of love. It is a master's student at the Florida Interactive Entertainment Academy at University of Central Florida.

I'm working day and night on making the entertaimnet industry a little more interactive. No, you pervs. I'm not trying to make interactive pornography. You know who you are. So, don't ask me to make DVD players with insertion holes. I will be delivering games like Okami, God of War, Metal Gear Solid, GTA, World of WarCraft, and any other AAA title on the video game market.

Classes are quite humbling. For once in my life, I'm not the know-it-all. I have to learn programming and art. Catch-up is an understatement. I'm marathoning to get on the same level as my fellow classmates that are artists and programmers. I want them confident in my knowledge of their positions. I want to be able to assist and coexist in their worlds while holding down my production duties.

Actually, I want to be the Trifecta in video game designer. Now, chew on that and doubt my abilities. In five years, you'll see me on the cover of BE, Time, and the Robb Report. Grind your teeth when I jump up and down on Opera's sofa or lay the smackdown on Bill O'Reilly. I've met many people that have succeded in their dreams, and I've met some that are on their way. Shout out to those striving for their dreams- I hope all of you continue to succeed in your own endeavors. For the doubters... Yeah, the doubters... As my undreamable dreams may give you reason to doubt me. Your reasonable doubt is my motivation.

Just Blaze get at me. I need a soundtrack in 2009 for my game!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Orlando Bound

Okay. Okay. I know I said Los Angeles would be my last move. But, my Gemini nature keeps chipping at my soul. Like all other Air signs, I have to move and saunter through time and space. Life is good to me, so I know it will get better. My life is like wine. The longer I maintain and take care of it, the better it taste. Even though, there are some individuals that wish for me to pour a bitter draft. I will continue to strive and elevate my existence in this world. Besides, there are no rules! There is no guide book! I can only make the right decision.

For you all that don't know, I have decided to leave this Hollywood lifestyle alone for a year and head back into grad school. Yes, another degree and another learning experience. This time, I'm chasing a lifelong dream. After producing Street Fury DVD for over two years, the only logical step for me was to chase after the dream of video game producer. I'm the guy that writes poetry, treatments, stories, and screenplays easier than a starving person diving into a feast. Even in the midst of writing two screenplays, I have taken the time to start a video game storyline. Back to the main story...

SO, I'm off to Orlando. Heading back to the south. Man, I missed the south. Who would have thought leaving the south to go overseas- visiting more than seven countries and moving to paradise would have made me long for my youthful stomping grounds. New beginnings are always good with Charles Babb. I seem the most creative in the hatching process. My energy is high and the environment hasn't taken its toll on me. My cycle in a single location is still two years. Well, Florida will be no different. Because the Masters degree in video game design will place me one step closer to fulfilling the childhood dream. After I get that paper, I must become very resourceful and utilize all my mojo to make my millions in a billion dollar industry. Believe me, I've been planning a lifetime for this.

Cheers,

Friday, July 20, 2007

My Wife and Child

Recently, people have been asking me about my marriage status and my child bearing record. I guess that is a common question to ask someone my age. Here is the sweet and simple skinny concerning these two questions. I am currently married to Life. See, Life has never been a bitch to me. Life has been quite wonderful and amazing. Life and I are having a great relationship. Sure, our relationship has its ups and downs. However, the ups trump the downs by ten-fold. Like all respectful relationships, it comes with dedication, diligence, and dexterity.

Life wants your undivided attention. Well, I learned Life necessarily doesn't want your undivided attention. She wants you to recognize your devotion and dedication to her should be authentic, seen, and felt in everything you do. I realize that life appreciates it when I dedicate all my other activities (necessary and extracurricular activities) to her. She overstands that I have to devote time and energy to other things besides her to improve her living conditions. In return, Life supports me through these endeavors. She patiently grants me time to elevate in these activities. I know it is hard to believe someone as narcissist as Life would be so kind. Especially, since everyone's favorite rapper's favorite rappers continually disrespects her by not devoting or dedicating time to her. They get angered by the fact she doesn't give them 100% of herself. They call her names; they write verses about her. They even write complete songs about how hard she has been on them. In reality, she is giving them what they deserve. Life is fair in rewarding people for their earnest efforts. She honors those that plan well with her, and are not afraid to execute those plans. If you act ordinary toward her, she will treat you in an ordinary way. If you are extraordinary toward her, then your existence with Life will be extraordinary. I am not one that settles with being ordinary. I surround myself with overachievers, with exuberance, and with extraordinary situtations. People bug out because I know a plethora of entertainers, politicians, trend setters, and business leaders. They are people that respect Life and offer her an extraordinary relationship, and she returns that to them. Furthermore, she is giving them the same effort that they are giving her.

Speaking of effort, you have to be diligent with pleasing Life. She has the tendency of not working for you if you don't seem to be working for her. The only way to guarantee she is working for you is to be diligent in your work with her. Even when it seems she isn't working for you, she is working damn hard in giving you her best parts. So, be patient! She is definitely patient with you. I make it a point to remain industrious in my endeavors. I diligently work to make her happy and dedicate all that I do to her.

Even when she doesn't make me happy, I remain dexterous, and adapt to what she does give me. One virtue that all overachievers learn is dexterity. Dexterity allows people to accept criticism and failure. It allows them to see the success in their failures. I have learned to be nimble with Life. Life is the champion ballroom dancer and I'm the novice pupil on his first day. I know if I prove to her that I can handle the criticism; I'm willing to learn; I'm willing to adapt and overcome, then she is willing to reward me for my efforts as the perfect partner.

Life has rewarded me with many children. Recently, Life gave birth to Underground Live. Underground Live is the embodiment of all my loves in Hip-Hop culture. Actually, Underground Live is my mirrored reflection of all I love about creative culture. It is the trend setters, it is the pioneers cursed with creative stigmata, the ambition to sacrifice it all in order to constantly push the envelope with or without the proper recognition. It is honesty covered in art. It is a piece of me and Life wrapped in goodness.

Does that effectively answer the questions of my marriage and childbearing? God has not blessed me with neither in the human form. One day, I hope to reap those rewards. Moreover, I hope Life, my current wife and our children will overstand when I take on matrimony in the human form. I also hope that both my wives will dance and fellowship together. Matter of fact, I hope my human wife will be the embodiment of my precious Life.

Friday, June 29, 2007

People's Champ

One thing that I learned in life is that you cannot be everything to everyone. So, I have taken it upon myself to be the People's Champ! Now, as the champion of the people, I only have to be me. That means at times the people will love me and at other times they will hate me. I just have to be authentic to my charge of representing the people. You may ask who are these anonymous people that I represent? Well, I represent the in-betweeners... The people that are not street, but understand street tactics. Those individuals that know the ink from a scholar is stronger than the blood of a martyr. These are the one's that don't shop by brand, but shop for taste. That know a single dollar is more than 3 candy bars at Ralph's or a bean burrito at Taco Bell. I represent people that love to travel, that love to stick out while fitting in, that are not bothered by other people's opinions and strive for the best in themselves... I represent those that don't have a voice, those that are shawdowed by the media stereocast (stereotype + typecast) and that are ashamed of their own holding onto the stereotypes like a badge of honor.

Yeah, I know proclaiming myself the "People's Champ" is the most absurd thing I've done in a long time. Observing the current state of affairs, someone has to do it. Someone has to be the champion of the people. I mean, I left the sunny isles of Hawaii to be among those of my color... And, what I learned is that they are not of my kind... My focus as the people's champ is not obligated to those of my color like my forefathers of generations passed. My obligation is those that shed all the negativity bestowed upon them by outside forces, those that challenge the day's assumptions, those that question the validity of fact and those that defy the law.... I will champion that mindset by focusing more energy into informing and prospering in all activities. I know, I know- prosperity is a self-gratification element. But, honestly, who doesn't want to be prosperous? Hell, even the Dali Lama is prosperous! Why shouldn't I? Because I'm the people's champ... The People's Champ should be prosperous on his or her own merit... I'm not trying to be an evangelist exploiting those that relinquish all their power to a higher being. I'm just showing what happens when you will power to become a higher force.

Enough of the preaching. My initial steps as the People's Champ is to explain what in the hell am I doing with my life... First off, I have an independent music tour company in the works... It reaches beyond music into other art forms and trendsetting... I am working in conjunction with two highly talented individuals that recognize that "we" are not being entertained our fairly represented in entertainment. Secondly, I'm working with this keen artist (graphic, photo and film) on developing a television show. We have the ball moving... Please, ladies check out www.myspace.com/toyztv ... We are building a brand... We need all the female support in the world. And, lastly, my total brainchild... DMC... I would tell you all what DMC means, but it is not ready... There is a piece of my soul lost in those three initials... I will bear who and what I am in that company... It will die with me leaving behind treasures for the world... Now, that is propaganda.... In the upcoming year, I will try to unapolgetically bash people over the head with some quality edutainment... I will enlighten, entertain and enrich you with these three projects... That is what the PEOPLE'S CHAMP does! He ENLIGHTENS, ENTERTAINS AND ENRICHES!

Meglomanicism 101 and Narcissism 101 is brought to you by THE ORIGINAL. What do you expect from someone that calls himself "The Original."

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Change is Gonna Come...

Good Morning Ladies and Gents,

Yes, I said it. Good Morning. Because this is your wake-up call from C. Babb. For all you that know me, I'm probably one of the most complex people that you know. I contradict my own contradictions. I'm artistically inclined, yet not artistically influenced. I will love and hate things at the same time. I have never been one to impress people or try to impress people. Frankly, I don't care about the opinions of other people. I never have and I never will.

I'm "me" in all my grandiouse flaws. I'm perfected imperfection. I'm a complete being looking for the next great adventure. I'm restless. It worries my mother to the brink of insanity that I'm restless. It bewilders my father. It loses my brother, That I'm always seeking something new; that I'm always in search of...; or chasing... As a preditorial animal, I'm always on the hunt. The end goal is success and settling for success isn't enough. So, this letter is my pledge to all of those that feel the need to tell me to slow down, settle down, get down, stand down, or any other down in the English language.

WAKE UP! For the first thirty years of my life, I've never stood down from a challenge. Matter of fact, I look for challenges in the midst of conquering one. I'm not a worker bee in a factory. I don't follow orders well. I am not naive to what the world holds for an adventurous young lad such as myself. I see no reason to hold onto relationships that pass to-and-fro in the natural course of life. I'm selfish with my own selfless existence and careless about everyone else's selfish notions on life. That opinion doesn't mean I don't care about my loved ones (friends and family). I just wish them the best spirits and hope they are blessed in their decisions. Even though they question my motives for living and doing things, I do not bite back and question their motives for not doing the things that I'm trying to do. I have learned Complaceny isn't good, nor bad. It is a state of being that some people choose to be living in.

So what my lifestyle isn't traditional. Who cares that I haven't settled down in Lexington, Kentucky with some beautiful woman that is willing to mother my understanding. I told my mother. I may not be a biological father. But, I'm definitely a spiritual and mental father. I birth good energy. I birth great ideas and dreams. I raise my ideas like children. I hope they grow into something greater than me.

Now, that is why I live! I live to leave children behind that are intangible and legendary. That will flourish and continue to grow even after my biological grandchildren die. My biggest issue to date is getting my children to play together. In order for them to do that, they will need to change and mature. They need to see how they are connected to one another. Teaching my ideas to play together and learn from one another has become my fulltime job. It is difficult. It is time-consuming. So, when I hear my family say that I'm spending too much time on myself. Or, I spend too much time on my dreams and ideas. I laugh. I snicker. I giggle. I grin. I overstand that they do not view ideas and dreams like I do. That is why no explanation can be given to get them to "under"stand my higher thought. I will try to explain for those that are listening.

I treat my ideas and dreams like my children. I parent them. For those with children, you recognize how much care that a child needs. As my children grow, I have to grow in order to continually be involved in their development. Now, I'm at an invincible stage in my life. I'm not afraid to motivate and inspire my ideas to grow and become bigger, brighter, better, and more brilliant. I am a dedicated father. I'm focused on their successful launch in the "real" world. I know these ideas will comfort me in my times of loneliness. They will take care of me when I'm old. They will be the remnants of my existence. So, I cradle them. I cherish them. I cultivate them. I do all this, in hopes that my present children (dreams and ideas) will take care of my unborn children.

For my unborn children, I build institutions for you. I experience life for you. I learn things for you. I ignore the complaints and cries of my family and friends for you. In final hours, I know my children will care for me in the same manner I care for them. So, my constant changes in life are to elevate the existence of all that
I birth- physically, mentally and spiritually. That is why Change is Gonna Come is my mantra, and not my curse.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

People's Champ

One thing that I learned in life is that you cannot be everything to everyone. So, I have taken it upon myself to be the People's Champ! Now, as the champion of the people, I only have to be me. That means at times the people will love me and at other times they will hate me. I just have to be authentic to my charge of representing the people. You may ask who are these anonymous people that I represent? Well, I represent the in-betweeners... The people that are not street, but understand street tactics. Those individuals that know the ink from a scholar is stronger than the blood of a martyr. These are the one's that don't shop by brand, but shop for taste. That know a single dollar is more than 3 candy bars at Ralph's or a bean burrito at Taco Bell. I represent people that love to travel, that love to stick out while fitting in, that are not bothered by other people's opinions and strive for the best in themselves... I represent those that don't have a voice, those that are shawdowed by the media stereocast (stereotype + typecast) and that are ashamed of their own holding onto the stereotypes like a badge of honor.

Yeah, I know proclaiming myself the "People's Champ" is the most absurd thing I've done in a long time. Observing the current state of affairs, someone has to do it. Someone has to be the champion of the people. I mean, I left the sunny isles of Hawaii to be among those of my color... And, what I learned is that they are not of my kind... My focus as the people's champ is not obligated to those of my color like my forefathers of generations passed. My obligation is those that shed all the negativity bestowed upon them by outside forces, those that challenge the day's assumptions, those that question the validity of fact and those that defy the law.... I will champion that mindset by focusing more energy into informing and prospering in all activities. I know, I know- prosperity is a self-gratification element. But, honestly, who doesn't want to be prosperous? Hell, even the Dali Lama is prosperous! Why shouldn't I? Because I'm the people's champ... The People's Champ should be prosperous on his or her own merit... I'm not trying to be an evangelist exploiting those that relinquish all their power to a higher being. I'm just showing what happens when you will power to become a higher force.

Enough of the preaching. My initial steps as the People's Champ is to explain what in the hell am I doing with my life... First off, I have an independent music tour company in the works... It reaches beyond music into other art forms and trendsetting... I am working in conjunction with two highly talented individuals that recognize that "we" are not being entertained our fairly represented in entertainment. Secondly, I'm working with this keen artist (graphic, photo and film) on developing a television show. We have the ball moving... Please, ladies check out www.myspace.com/toyztv ... We are building a brand... We need all the female support in the world. And, lastly, my total brainchild... DMC... I would tell you all what DMC means, but it is not ready... There is a piece of my soul lost in those three initials... I will bear who and what I am in that company... It will die with me leaving behind treasures for the world... Now, that is propaganda.... In the upcoming year, I will try to unapolgetically bash people over the head with some quality edutainment... I will enlighten, entertain and enrich you with these three projects... That is what the PEOPLE'S CHAMP does! He ENLIGHTENS, ENTERTAINS AND ENRICHES!

Meglomanicism 101 and Narcissism 101 is brought to you by THE ORIGINAL. What do you expect from someone that calls himself "The Original."

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Trendsetting Yourself

I'm back with another enlightening entry for all you trendsetters and wannabes. Well, you are what you are and from today. I'm going to throw "swagger" away. When Hannity uses "swagger" in his sentence construction referring to presidential candidate Obama, I know something is extremely wrong. The 2-double-0 years have been as artistically clumsy as the mid-to-late eighties. Seriously, our fashion sense has really gone out the door. For all you eighty babies, you cannot relive something that you were not old enough to understand from the jump. Most of these "trendsetters" are lost in a sea of over branding and expensive gaudy merchandise. I will not name brands in my blogs, but the overpriced pastel colors, horribly drawn screen printing thin 'fine' cotton tee shirt and your cheap cotton denim pants aren't even worth a label. Honestly, we will be ashamed of ourselves ten years from now. I remember wanting to dress like Grandmaster Flash, Turbo and Kid-N-Play. Now, I'm thankful my mother did not let that go down. It is disgusting looking at young impressionable children and teenagers dressing in the worst of "cool." It is even more disheartening to see grown individuals, who should know better, mirror the images of these children. We need to take a long look in the mirror. If you are a grown man over the age of 30, wearing jewelry in your mouth isn't cool. Matter of fact, if you are over 30 years young and want to dress up like a "rapper," then you need to take some self-identity classes and sit in a few self-realization courses. If you are a grown individual and your conversations only consist of gear, relationships, money and material objects, then you need to read some books. It is amazing at the limits that people place on themselves. The world is filled with information and experiences waiting to happen. All it takes is a few steps in planning, then deciding to execute. We allow others to box us in or we sublimely block ourselves. We are scared to be the nail that stands out in fear that someone will hammer down. It is not just genius that gets written in the history books. It is rebellious genius that makes the books. Less than one percent of the world's population will ever be mentioned in history. I'm just trying to be in that one percent. Yeah, yeah. I know that overachieving isn't for every person. Some people find their mundane existence exciting and excellent. I'm just slightly different. I want more. I don't care for fame, cars, jewels, and a billion other physical objects (even though I'm privileged enough to have them). I'm out to Howard Roarke the world. Build institutions, franchises and such in my design. Unfortunately, I've been pigeonholed as a taste master of trends and setting trends. Rule one: A true trendsetter never strives to set trends. We only focus on expressing who we are at that moment. Rule two: Contradiction of style doesn't exist to one that is "style." Contradiction only exists with fashionable people trying to be "style." Rule three: We make our own rules; therefore, following my rules will only make you fashionable. (Go get your own style, suckers!)

Hell, I don't even consider myself a trendsetter. I just do me. I'm a nerdy guy that knows a lot of things about nothing. I'm quite self-absorbed, charming and a cordial asshole. I'm sexist and prejudice because I hang around nothing less than intelligent, beautiful and ambitious women. Yes, I said it. I'm sexist and prejudice. I don't like hanging around guys. I see no need to surround myself with more than three or four males at a time and engage them in extensive conversation. Moreover, I would rather talk with women about women and other derivatives of the female form. I am also prejudice against ugly people. By no means do I consider myself an eye-catching individual or one of wondrous personality. But, charm goes a long way in a society where people lack true confidence. Most women would agree with me when I say that I'm no showstopper. But, my brawny brain will have women doing cartwheels in a wildflower meadow and captivated on some of the sweetest kool-aid to drip from my lips. I'm not a great listener. I'm the right listener. I'm not passive nor aggressive nor passive-aggressive. I'm brashly honest and bashfully cute. I'm as cocky as a single rooster in a hen house. I like weird things, but I won't buy into all the hype of things that I like. I'm not cheap in my purchasing habits; I'm just not dumb in my spending habits or silly enough to buy all the "cool" things. I don't try to impress people. What part of "cordial asshole" did you not understand. But, people have a tendency to try and impress me. I'm a courteous gentleman and not for a second have I thought about living a criminal lifestyle or being grimy or acting hard. I have too many options to resort to doing things that are stupid! Yes, I said it. Doing criminal activities isn't cool. It is downright stupid. Get your weight up and get chiseled and make yourself honestly in a world of rules. I listen to rappers talk about criminals and criminal lifestyles. I don't care about gangsters because gangsters haven't made any real money or an imprint on society. Nerds have! I rather have Bill Gate's status than Al Capone's status any day. I rather be Warren Buffet than 50 Cent from BK. I rather run Google than a gang. Let's be real. I have no reason to walk through life complaining about how hard it is. I make the 'my' decisions, I make 'my' rules and I honor 'my' definition of manhood. No brand in existence can accurately represent the "Babb" brand. My father told me as a child, "Steel sharpens steel. Only men can raise men." As an adult, I understand that. Men do not need objects to define their existence. They have themselves to define their existence. They don't need institutions and industries to support them because they build institutions and industries. As I gallivant throughout the world, I will continue to learn more about me and grow stronger as me. My legacy will be forgotten, but my imprint on the world won't be.

That's my word.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

The Circle of Life

There was once a stonemason that lived an average life… One day in the midst of the summer, he loaded some statues unto a carriage… As he gazed at the carriage, he thought to himself, "I would love to be a simple carriage driver! All day just riding around on a carriage." The All in hearing these pleas responded back by saying, "My son, I see you are not satisfied with the occupation I gave you. You feel as though you labor too hard, but I will grant your desires because of your loyalty to me." In a blink of an eye, the stonemason was controlling the four most beautiful steeds on this planet. As the rider told the carriage driver to slow down and stop by the market, the stone mason said, "I enjoy being the carriage driver, but what a life it would be not to worry about nothing, but shopping." So, the All laughed and said, "Now, my son, you wish for luxuries of unseen and unheard proportions? I will grant you this wish because you are a loyal servant. And any servant as loyal as you deserves to be a lord upon his own kingdom." The stonemason woke up from a sleep drowning in the finest silk bedding from India. He looked up and saw that the brass clock on the marble bedroom mantle fireplace. "Oh, my God. I'm a Lord in a king's court!" As he sauntered through the ivory hallways, he wondered, "What will I do, today?" So, he summoned his carriage, and went shopping in the marketplace. As he shopped in the marketplace, he overheard people saying, "I cannot wait for the King's ball tonight." So, he found the finest of fine attire for tonight's formal event. As night fell upon the Earth, the stonemason marched into the ball with a pinch of arrogance on his sleeve. He knew he was the best-dressed suitor in the King's hall. As he was boasting to a beautiful young lady about his rise to lordship, the trumpets sounded throughout the castle. The King stepped into the silent hall. All eyes fell upon the ground because of the fear and respect the aristocrats had for the king. The mason whispered to the young lady, "my beautiful lady, why do you glare in awe at the king? There are many men with his wealth or wealthier than our lord the King." She said in a hushed voice, "Sure, there are men wealthier than the King. But, none have or will be as powerful as the King. The King has no need for wealth because he is the absolute of power. Even the wealthy must pay their respects to him. Or, they will be relinquished of their wealth. So, my dear lord, it is not your wealth; however, it is the prestige you demand that is respected within the ranks of those that are already wealthy. Only, the poorly rich concern themselves with wealth. It is the wealthy that concern themselves with less tangible items such as power, happiness, and even freedom. Wealth just grants us that luxury." Then the stonemason said, "Lord, please grant me the happiness of the King. It is not the luxuries after all. It is the intangible things such as power."
"Now, you have seen the way. For it is not your wealth, but it is your attributes as a man that will give you heaven on earth. Wealth just allows you focus on gaining those attributes. For I see 'I' in you, so I know you already possess some of those attributes stonemason." As the stonemason left the ball, he noticed something peculiar. All the heads of the aristocracy were bowing before him. He called for the carriage and a caravan of carriages came to his side. "My lord, where are we off to tonight?" asked one servant.
"Take me to the sea, I desire to see a sunrise this morning," said the stonemason.
As, the carriage halted by the sea, the mason saw birds flying overhead. Not one bird bowed down to him to show respect. On the contrary, all these fowl looked down upon him. "Oh, how great it must be to have the luxury to seek only the necessities of life. These birds have no power over man, yet they do not care for rank among us. It is as though they live freely without all the hang-ups."
The All answered, "my son, it is only man that has hang-ups of grandeur, prestige, and power. For natural creatures life is the only hang-up. Man has separated himself from nature, thus becoming unnatural or abnormal. I will allow you to enter the natural world. Son, you have learned to crawl, walk, and run. Now, you will learn to."
The stonemason interrupts, "Fly! I'm flying. I cannot believe it! I can go anywhere in the world and no one can stop me! Nothing can stop me!" Then a storm struck, it took the bird (stonemason) by surprise. The wind kept blowing him around. He did not know what to do. All he could do was contemplate death as a fowl of the sky. He was ready to escape this storm. "God make me something stronger than this storm. Show me the definition of true strength," yelled the stonemason. God transformed the stonemason into the North Wind. Oh, how great a feeling to actually dominate all creatures on the face of the planet. He illustrated his power on all creatures, big and small. They all knew of the powerful winds coming from the North that caused all creatures to hide in fear. As the stonemason blew in all directions, he noticed he could make everything move, except one thing. He tried and tried, but he could not make the rocks nor mountains move. He said, "God, you have allowed me to be all these wondrous and powerful creatures. I even asked you to make me the most powerful. Your answer was the wind. But, I have learned you are wrong because the wind is not most powerful. The wind cannot move mountains or the heaviest of rocks."
God answered, "That is true, but I did not know that you would not mind being a rock… The rock is the pillar for my heaven. They form out of the earth and stretch all the way to the heavens. They cannot move because, if they were to move it would cause the heavens to collapse."
The stonemason pleaded, "Make me one of those pillars. For the wind cannot shake the pillars of heaven."
God said, "Are you sure? Once this transformation happens, you cannot change again?"
The stonemason responded, "Nothing would make me feel better, except showing you my appreciation by holding up your ceilings until eternity." The All granted the stonemason this final wish. As the stonemason transformed into a large rock, he told the All, "thank you for making me the strongest object of your creation. Now, I know how life truly can be, besides being a weak little stonemason" A month past, when a large carriage picked up the huge rock. As the rock (stonemason) could not believe someone moved one of the All's pillars, he felt a heavy chisel tear into the side of him. The stonemason saw 'The Truth.' As his son carved him into a statue of himself. His son screamed, "God, this is in honor of the greatest stonemason that ever lived, my father. You took him away one day in a carriage led by beautiful horses. I hope this beautiful statue of him will bring him back and bring peace to his soul."

Friday, June 1, 2007

Conflict with defining Freedom

What Freedom is to me??? I can tell you more what Freedom isn't than what Freedom is… In my eyes, I've am not Free… Freedom is an extension of Love… And, Love is a different conversation entirely… Let's get back to Freedom… My vision of Freedom… Is being detached from the world, but being attached to the world in all its beauty… Detached-attachment sounds contradictory, but it actually makes sense… You must come to terms that your complete environment is created by you… Sure, there are some elements that you don't create because they are created by some other force. You must be able to create a world you wish to reside in, then let go of it after making that world… Freedom is a sense of no control over other subjects, and not allowing other subjects to control you… It sounds very crazy, but controlling an object places you under a force of control, which obstructs your freedom… You may be controlling it, but in a sense it is controlling you by holding your concentration… So, you must be able to create and cease control over creation… Most people believe that having the means and being able to create something is Freedom. Moreover, some people believe that being able to control a force shows that you are free… On the contrary, a desire to control other forces is created by a lack of freedom… A great quote to live by is
"No one is free if others are oppressed."
—Andre 3000 of Outkast, ATLiens.
Paulo Friere devoted a complete book on examining the phenomenon of oppression, oppressive behavior, and how it is subconsciously taught to people. This book alone explains the oppressive origin of destructive behavior exhibited by people, who live in oppressive living conditions. So, freedom must not only recognize the perpetuation of oppression, but signal individuals whenever they are an oppressive force. Now, this draws man into a Pandora box because if you were truly free… Would you not need to monitor yourself for oppressive tendencies? So, freedom is self training until it is habitual… Many people believe monks are free… However, in their freedom from the earth, some are mentally captive because it is not habitual for them to "not desire." So, being an individual controlled by desires shows one's lack of freedom??? Or, being able to answer your desires at will show absolute freedom???
Imagine, if you could answer all your desires… Would you be free to pursue more meaningful deeds??? If extinguishing all your desires were possible, then would you come to the conclusion that freedom from all material things is your only desire??? I am plagued by this question everyday… I try to rationalize why I yearn to make money; why I like expensive jewelry, gadgets, and other toys… I negotiate a pact with myself on how to obtain these luxuries of life. I also battle with myself on giving up chasing after these material possessions and soothing my souls desires… But, what does my soul desire… I figured staying in school, furthering my education would be the answer… My soul does not desire institutionalized education… My soul desires freedom… But, I try to facilitate a free environment in school… I have been taught that all knowledge can be acquired from a book… I have been taught books free my mind… However, I become captive to the words on those pages… I get caught in those pages… In this literature prison, I wish for freedom like the thoughts that are created as I read those pages… I have even entered into open dialogues with people… I feel like conversations cause souls to dance together… In my conversations, I soon become the dominant party… I begin to inflict my free will and my free tongue onto the other parties… Conversations soon lead into becoming power struggles, which chain use to our views… What happened to freedom in those conversations? It just evaporates into nothingness…
Now, nothingness seems to be real freedom… And, why am I plagued with this question of "is nothingness the same as freedom?" I sit and stare into nothingness, but my mind becomes captive to my thoughts… My thoughts are usually filled with something… My thoughts encompass everything from 'task I need to do' to 'things I want to do.' I watch as this nothingness shackles me to the thoughts of action…
After I have rested for about an hour, I conclude that freedom is majestic… It is the unicorn we all chase after… Freedom is being able to reconcile your differences prior to a dialogue and engaging in a verbal dancing of the souls… It is being able to facilitate an exchange of all that binds us together in this world as a means of understanding ourselves… Freedom is action, which leads to a higher resolution of thought… With that thought, we usher in a greater action of self… It is being able to negotiate with the spirit on how to live… Better yet, it is being able to negotiate the question, "what to live for?"
Daily, I am in conflict with this abstract term called FREEDOM… One day, it will all make sense… And, maybe, I will possess it… All the situations, I have experienced lead me to this question in one way or another… If I had more time? If I had more money? If I would have chose this rather than that? It all leads back to my soul trying to grab freedom… I guess coming from a cultural background that has recently gained some civil freedoms, but still is under subtle oppression, I contemplate such a question…

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Hip-Hop needs Ressurrection

I've died and hope to be resurrected... Maybe, Kanye can bring me back. Maybe, Jay-Z can bring me back. Mos forgot about me... Andre has moved on... I'm the new cotton for Black men with dreams of granduer... Those that have not learned the lessons of hard work. Who feed on braggadicio exploits of criminal activities, parties, capitalism and dehumanizing activities to those closest to our hearts (women). I've evolved from a chant, to the written word, to spoken verse and now to a money maker for those that don't care about me... I am envious of myself and remain in beefs with TRUTH... I am Hip-Hop... I discovered you and the beauty we make... I have blinded your justice and made you think it is Just Us... I am bastardized in media... And, we know media is just as narcissistic as me... See-- Hip-Hop has one "i" and Media... Sweet Media has an "i" and a "me." And, us three desensitize you from the voice of righteous dissent... I'm pious in my own religion. Money is God... It's true God is hardly seen, especially by those that are not free. God is sought after for things that are not free... Now, tell me money is not God... I'm Hip-Hop, the messiah for those that cannot play sports... So, young black boys- put on your Black Face and tap on the sand for all the whities to see... Coon it up in the glorious name of Hip-Hop... I'm the path to your God... I'm dead to ressurrect as you... Because in you I see the evil in me...